NATTVANDRARE

Du väckte mig mitt i natten med din stora tass

Strök du mig klumpigt över huvudet

Du reste med hjälp av mörkret in genom mitt fönster

Pustande frost och vinter

Jag kramade din hals och satt upp på din rygg

Greppade det mjölkvita pälsverket

Du reste dig sakta likt ett forndjur från marken

Krympte rummet under ers höghet

Vi tänkte farväl till allt det vi anade i dunklet

simmade Guldfisken förvirrat i glitter

Utanför stod natten givakt med trogna stjärnor

Belyste vår vintergata

Du klev stort med djurfot rakt ut i rymden

Svävande bland iskristaller

Vi reste vidunderligt högt upp över stadens tak

Färdades två främmande

Bortom Galaxen gick resan fridfullt och stilla

Sov jag i månarnas ljus

Natten gick aldrig ned och dagen kom aldrig upp

Över universums horisont

Vi befann oss i en tid utan klockslag i brist på dygn

Åldrades inte vår timma

Ljuden var obekanta för mitt öra större än havets

Ofantliga muller

Du dök igenom stoft kisande mot den annalkande marken

Uppenbarade sin främmande natur

Vi bromsade in med utfällda klor för att landa på vår nya planet

Kittlade luften i halsen

Även här singlade flingor från skyn som tecken på årstid

Virvlade vårblommorna

Du tog täten bort över kusten spejandes bort mot bergen

Anade jag gränslösheten

Jag skuttade efter dina avtryck i sanden uti dyn förväntansfullt

Höll jag tummen

Mina drömmar hade visat mig Dig i den här världen

Återförenas alla

Du ökade på stegen under taket av neonlika stjärnfall

Sprang jag längs stranden

Jag ropade ditt namn högt ut i den kristallklara luften

Spelade min röst

Bakom krönet föll vi, en tung en lätt över kanten till den nyfunna världen

Kommer vi Alla tids nog 

(By Anna M. Nygren 2012)

Swing it

This should be a mandatory Monday activity - swing away!

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I AM NOT ALWAYS A HAPPY CLOWN

 

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THIS IS FOR YOU AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE

 

When you need magic, magic will happen. If you believe in it. Of course

TO SEIZE THE DAY OR TO SENSE THE LOGICAL

When things feel impossible, eternally and beyond hope. I feel like this picture. Floating without direction and everything else one can ascribe a soap bubble.

SANTA

I have the best Santa memories

Candles in the window,
shadows painting the ceiling,
gazing at the fire glow,
feeling that gingerbread feeling.
Precious moments,
special people,
happy faces,
I can see.

Somewhere in my memory,
Christmas joys all around me,
living in my memory,
all of the music,
all of the magic,
all of the family home here with me.

Lyrics; John Williams

I WISH FOR

NOT PAUS

I have not taken a paus. Just preparing me for The End and also for Christmas preparations.

HAVE YOU MET YOUR DARK SIDE?

I have faced mine..

THIS YEAR'S HALLOWEEN COSTUME GOES TO...

picture from: http://prettylittleworldfashion.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2011-11-03T09%3A00%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=6

FALLING ON BECKASIN

I am waiting for winter. It is still fall on Beckasin road. The winter and Christmas flakes should be now. Have someone forgot to tell them? I need to get in contact with the northern spirits- the Christmas magic can not wait.

CHAPTER 9

Hello you

The night was still sneaking around the corners of Beckasin road. The troll hunting was over.   I stood under the whistling tree and observed the little man disappearing with his wagon down the street. The clock on the old people’s home struck the hour with heavy beats. Kling clung! With narrowed eyes I glanced down the deserted road. The smoke signals were gone. Elfvie must have changed her spot or perhaps she has given up and gone home. I folded the two circus tickets and put them in my other pocket.  The clock rang again and the bell’s jingle was caught by the wind. 

It was cold, dark and unfriendly lonesome out on Beckasin road. I sensed decision anxiety and my feet felt more or less fixed to the street.  The nervous feeling made me loosing my balance.  For a moment I wanted to run after the little man with the hat. I could still make out his clattering footsteps. The second after I wanted to go and see what Elfvie and Polo kept house. I hesitated and my will went around in my body. I stumbled one step forward and one step back and then I fell. My feet were fixed and I hit the asphalt with my palms. Slowly, I pushed away from the ground to pick up balance. Once on my feet the decision anxiety hit me again and I had to wave with my arms. Nevertheless, I fell over and sat down on the street.

My hands blistered and I blew away a few pine needles. It moved in my pocket. Gently I lifted the sequin lid and looked down at the little troll. It looked at me puppy-like with its ears drooping. The troll shivered in the corner of my pocket with the silver bean tight in its arms. I took my forefinger and tapped its head. It smiled and showed off a line of uneven teeth. Carefully I closed the lid over his head. My feet and the ground were as magnetic.  Slowly, I could pull one feet at the time but I could not lift it. Even if my feet would come off the ground, I would not know where to go. In the middle of the street I laid down. To lie on the ground gives whole new perspective of things. The small brick-houses looked bigger and the boxwood hedges seemed to be taller. Also, the chestnut trees looked different from the eyes of a beetle. Most of all everything seems so quiet.

Broad and widely the tree swung its arms above my head. The brown crispy leafs created figurative shapes like the clouds on a blue sky. I distinguished all possible men and figures. Faces with long chins and pointy noses looked down at me. An Easter bunny and some kind of other animal transcended into a locomotive. The tree moved and I could almost hear it creaking of age. But, al of a sudden I could also hear something else. A sound that was not coming from the tree nor from the wind. Quickly, I sat up. A metallic taste spread in my mouth. I shivered by the wet asphalt and of the hostile surrounding. Stressfully the troll messed around in my pocket.  His movements made the sequin jacket rattle and I put my hand on top of the pocket to make it still. I listened quietly and peered into the darkness.

My feet were still stuck in the ground. I heard the sound again and closer this time. I was not alone. Something scraped and shuffled. I pulled my legs harder this time. Please come off, I whispered. That something came closer and like a wet dog the tree shook. What I believed was autumn leafs unexpectedly lifted to the sky like a dark mist. The birds crowd left the tree naked on the pavement.  I pulled up my shoulders to my ears. As I felt like that something could come and breathe in my neck any moment.  A high whining from my pocket exposed my position and I told myself to run. After a rapid look around the retirement home appeared to be the best hide away. Since, I figured out where to go, my feet were released from the grip of decision agony and I could move them again. They were stiff of cold but still I ran.   In front of the retirement home there was a huge area that can be compared to an old schoolyard.  Yard games drawn in white chalk shone in the dark. I jumped over pools of water and finally I could put my hand on the big doorknob. The gate was closed. I knocked with both fists against the dumb wood., but no one came to my rescue. The scratching and shuffling had caught up with me. I took a deep breath, turned around and faced what was hunting the little troll and me. The black illusory tall being rose in front me. I stood eye-to-eye with someone who has been following me for a very long time. 

ALL SAINTS DAY

It's All Saints Day and I am stuck. I brought withered flowers from Dalecalia. We will put them in the soil of someone who Elfvie hold very dear.

DALECALIA

We are leaving for Dalecalia. In the forest we will search for withered flowers. At night we are planting them among the tombs. It will make them flourish again.

THE UNKNOWN BRINGS NO DESIRE

I try to plan my day, my week and my life. I am planning to make my day, my week and my life as good as possible. I think I make the best of my life by planning. I also believe that I can satisfy my desires and wishes in the best way by planning.

But, I forget that I walk into the unknown. We all travel into the unknown- and the unknown brings no desire.

CHAPTER 8

Trolls

There are various kinds of trolls. Forest trolls, garden trolls, stone trolls, giant trolls, small trolls, lucky trolls and many more. Even though they can appear different on the outside they all have things in common. Trolls put value in alone time. Resting on a tree stump, lie in wait under a bush or napping by the fire. They also appreciate fine dining and impressive festivities. Both large and small trolls can be noisy. Would you ever join a troll festivity prepare yourself for the ear-splitting music and cries of joy.  They are special in many ways and can sometimes look as if they are put under a spell by walking like robots or starring hypnotized. Trolls have the ability to fall in love with things- things or creatures. Once there was a mountain troll big as a house that spent his whole life in front of a yellow birds cage. Day in and day out he watched over the little bird and whistled along with its song. The day when the bird fell dead off the stick the mountain troll buried it with all his families saved treasures. Later, the troll died of heartache.

On Beckasin road you can get familiar with your own trolls. The ones you can not always put your finger on and strike the hair of. These trolls can be hiding under your skin, in your mind or holding on to a lost secret.  The trolls inside of you have big impact of your life. It is of no matter whether the troll is of good or bad, a light memory or a chaos feeling. You still need to be acquainted with your personal trolls. The tricky thing is that they will hold on to you and you will probably have trouble not holding on to them.

I found it easier to bring out the troll and to put it in front of me, so that you can have a really good look at it.  The hard part is to evaluate if you need to get rid of it and then how you can do that in the best way.  When I was a child I met a troll in my school. It was not a nice troll and we did not get along that well. He sneaked around in the school hallway and sometimes he waited for me when class was over. I remember finding the troll walking over my painting with boots dipped in paint. At last I tried my best to avoid the troll. It took several years before I finally jumped on a train and escaped from it. Today I think I have managed to get rid of him, but I would not be surprised if he finds me someday.

Trolls are greater than pirates when it comes to treasures and jewels. Mountain trolls gather their treasures in huge stone vaults. It happens that these vaults get so crowded with gold and silver that they create cracks in the earth’s surface.  Smaller and outlaw trolls hide its treasures like squirrels in a tree or like an arctic fox under the moss. Trolls are greedy but above all they are clever. The greatest ideas all come from the minds of troll. The entire world’s trolls together posses all the greatest recipes for magic and witchcraft. Even if they are greedy, they have shared some wisdom to others, like goblins and creatures of the forest. Unfortunately, some recipes have been stolen by the darker powers of our world.

Saying farewell to a troll is not an easy task. Especially, since you do not know if the troll will die of sorrow.  It can be as heartbreaking as liberating. However, most goodbyes end with a battle. I still hope for my school troll to give up his search, since it otherwise will end with his death.

HOLD ON

You can not hold on to everything. One must let go of things to be able to carry on new. I have a troll in my pocket and I can not carry it forever.

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TO JUMP ON THE TRAIN

Some people spend their whole lives watching trains go by. Not realizing that they were supposed to jump on- leave their hat on the station and to serenely take a seat. It is sad to know how many people that are still standing on the railway station with their old hat on. They will not be free from their thoughts, or released from their scruples. Neither of them will take the possibility to improve their way of life- to offer their lives the chances that are given to them.

Occasionally, I am afraid to be one of those people.

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CHAPTER 7

Let it go

The man in the hat lifted his hand higher. Now I stood eye to eye with the little troll.  The troll breathed rapidly in the little man’s hand. His body of rocks seemed no longer to be of stone and stiffed by glue. I sneaked up the clothespin and attached it to his shirt. His eyes were large and blinked slowly. He looked a bit like a sad pet with tears in his eyes.  The small fists were still holding the ripped sequins. I took up a silver bean and the troll followed it with great interest. He squinted and grimaced. When the bean was within reach he reached out for it with his arms. The bumpy sequins fell like glitter rain to the wet ground. I gave him the bean and the man in the hat lowered his hand. I had a troll hanging in a clothespin cuddling a bean. The man in the hat tap-danced around us while throwing the sequins in the air. His shoes clattered on the street.  I took my forefinger and stroke the little troll over his rough hair.

The little man returned to his wagon. He bent over slightly as if he was searching for something in the bottom of the wagons body. “Oh, there it is”, he said. He pulled out a shimmering tuxedo. The jacket fitted him perfectly even though his tummy was like a balloon. He turned around so that I only could see his back and the pointy shoulders of is glitter jacket. One hand flew up in the air and he lifted his forefinger. Like a ballet dancer he turned with his finger on the top of his tall hat.  Round and round, faster and faster! The little man turned into a red and blue twisting blur. Then, he popped up with his arms in the air. The hat had become bigger and was decorated with stars and sparkles. He opened his mouth and with a powerful voice he shouted “tickets for the circus”!

How much do you want for two tickets, I replied? The little man leaned forward over his wagon. At first he was quiet. He looked at me and then he gazed at the troll that was still hanging in the air from my clothespin. I felt despair.  “You can not have the troll”, I said. “Let go of the troll”, the little man responded. “You are holding on to that troll like the troll is holding on to his bean”, he continued. My thoughts went around in my head. I could not speak. I did not know what to do. When I looked at the troll, I just could not let it go and I did not know why. It felt better to keep it, but at the same time I did not want it. I was a bit afraid of it. In haste I put down the troll in my jacket pocket. The little man shook his head at me and pointed with two fingers. “I want two silver beans for two tickets”, he said.  Then he continued, “and speed up because time is running out”. “We all have a train to catch, he muttered.